Episode 6

The athleticism, the courage, the extremely steep downhill slide – no, I’m not talking about the Winter Olympics in Russia’s fairest (read: alllllmost done being built) city, I’m talking about Episode Six of GIRLS! The emotional slaloms, the breath taking jumps…of logic, and the international flavor…of the Chinatown lunch joint Marnie and Ray cause a totally unnecessary white person scene in.


Yes, this is the splendor and majesty we’ve come to expect when the GIRLS writers flex their formidable sitcom muscles and unleash Episode 6 onto the ice like a manly female curling team from Belarus. Mustache wax – optional. Victory – mandatory.


In honor of the highs and lows – all award worthy – of this episode, the Medal Ceremony shall feature the following:


Gold Medal for Energy Conservation: Hannah Horvath, for not turning her computer on once at her new job! Look, even though it is made abundantly clear that “Advertorial” writing is not the same as “Real People” writing, she PROBABLY has some official GQ email to check somewhere, right? Maybe a quick note from Jenna Lyons, the J. Crew Creative Director Turned Thespian who played Hannah’s super warm and fuzzy boss in this episode? Did she have it in her rider that she – and the rest of the GQ Advert Staff – had to wear head to toe J. Crew (or J. Poo as my Bestie, a former store manager, calls it) the whole episode? She’s so sassy. You micromanage those new, expensive copper pipes! I’m going to email you to ALSO say I work there, too! Can my computer come with a power cord, please!?


Gold Medal For XXX Bent Over The Couch Sex: Shoshonna and Her Geographically Challenged New Nameless Boyfriend – he may not be able to find the library, but he sure found another spot. Also, I don’t want to know that Shoshonna likes her ponytail pulled. Unsubscribe.


But then the East German judge pointed out that she ruined the NYU GIRLS GONE WILD shot by yammering about open lines of communication, so the judges have deducted points, leaving Doggy Style Shosh with a nice, shiny Silver.

Bronze Medal for Fleshy, Awkward Sex: Marnie and Ray. Ugh. Stop already.


But Gold Medal for When Harry Met Sally Rom-Com Lunch: See previous medal winners.


Silver Medal for Infant Fat Shaming: Jessa. Employee of the Month fur shurrrrr! Her character is getting to be a parody of itself. This is worse than when Phoebe agreed to carry her brother’s unborn twins and then the whole gang went to London without her for Ross’ wedding where – oh, what? Wrong show? Oh. Oops.


Gold Medal for Online Entrepreneurial-ship: Adam the Dreamcatcher Dreamweaver. What’s that thing made out of? Dearly departed Caroline’s hairball from the shower drain and some of his molars? If he doesn’t stop giving those teeth away, the only acting part he’s going to be able to score is Meth Head #1.


And for our Best In Show Medal: What? The Westminster Dog Show is ALSO happening right now and there are just TOO MANY good televised competitions to be able to limit our prizes! The Best In Show for this episode – you may know it as the Universal Nugget Of Truth – is awarded to Hannah’s First Official Job!


The best line was as Hannah quit her way-below-her barista gig at the aptly named Grumpy Ray’s (oh, it’s not named that? Hmm. Then where did I wander into the other day and order a Dirty Ray Chai? Confused…) by saying to her boss/Marnie’s boytoy: “Do you think this is the best use of my literary voice and myriad talents?” Then off she went, to the shiny high rises of that mystical isle of Manna-hattan, ready to hit that elevator button and shoot RIGHT to the TOP!


It’s a familiar, well-trod storyline, previously done exceptionally well on SIX FEET UNDER by Claire the Artist acquiescing to getting a real life “corporate working for the man” job, too. But GIRLS managed to find some new, fresh ways to illustrate that when you sell your soul for Sun Chips and Russ & Daughters lox, it’s not as clean a transaction as you’d hope. Hannah’s handling of this crossroads (money vs. artistry, rent vs. creativity) is an exciting and interesting storyline in a show that is otherwise getting a bit…mangy.


Will Hannah stick it out and rise to the occasion? Will the well-stocked office fridge (and flirtatious, gainfully employed coworker) win? Hannah is already running circles around those other GQ bitches! And just think, a few more years writing “Advertorial” and Hannah will be able to purchase her OWN copper pipes!


I can’t wait til she Instagrams them! Huzzah!


(reprinted courtesy of Ladygunn)