You guys, let’s play a game. SOME of these things are really happening and SOME are not. You guess!
1. Seeing how many pieces of Pirate’s Booty I can fit in my mouth at once.
2. Strategically avoiding looking at inappropriate people’s even more inappropriate Facebook pages.
3. Trying to understand/care about BREAKING BAD but really just being more interested in my spinach-artichoke hummus.
4. Considering Googling an Australian guy I met once.
5. Same as #1, but replace “my mouth” with “my dog’s mouth.”
6. Still trying to understand/care about BREAKING BAD but really just being more interested in my spinach-artichoke hummus.
7. Wondering what’s up with Pinterest.
8. Noticing someone in the credits for THE OFFICE is named “Jazzer.” This also outs me as having changed the channel from BREAKING BAD. Shit.
9. Practicing air quoting every time I say the word “shenanigans.”
10. Giggling about the Asian cougar that my friend may or may not be hitting on right NOW in another city. He’s keeping me updated via text. And pictures. And Instagram.
11. Looking up plane ticket prices to Sydney (NOT related to #4).
THE ANSWERS: ‘Twas a trick! These are ALL true! HAPPY SUNDAY!!!!!